You told me its my fault this didn’t work out. You said you can’t handle me emotionally anymore. You didn’t say anything for weeks. After all the love we gave each other in the last year and not even an I’m done. No, goodbye. Just silence. Like how you left me.
I didn’t believe you of all people would ever treat me with such hate. I give people second chances because I see hope, happiness, love. I saw that with you, I should have judged it when it was cloudy. I couldn’t see that future, I wasn’t sure if it was us or me or the way you talked to me that made me see it that way. I figured it was me being paranoid and being scared to let you in again. That was the sign. The sign to drop you, like you did to me before I get my heart broken again.
I really loved you for all that you were. Beautiful, broken, desperate, promising. Everything. All your faults, all the love you wanted to give me. You only loved me for what you wanted me to be. Some expectations that seek to fit in your eyes. I went along with it because I loved you and this was the end for me. This is whom I’m destined to be with. I know you have to go through heartbreak to come out the other end even stronger and knowing what you deserve in love. But you know what, you got the best thing you will ever get in love and happiness. And for me, I will find someone who is the love of my life. He won’t leave, he’ll stay and fix things. He will care about how I feel and what I say. He will love me like you never even bothered to. I love you, and I hate that I do. But there will come a time when I see a picture of you and I don’t shatter to pieces over and over again because of what you did to my heart. I will look and see someone who I loved. I won’t see you, the you that you were with me. The person who loved me would have never left in the middle of the night leaving me all alone, hearing you driving off in the distance. That person wouldn’t have continued to fuck me when he didn’t want me anymore. That person who had so much love for me would have drove back and fix us. The person who loved me would have listened to me when I said I’d love you forever. But you weren’t that person and you aren’t ever going to be that person again. He drowned in my tears. He broke apart when my heart did. He left when you did. It’s all gone. Everything we had, everything I gave you, everything we shared. You ruined it. I gave you that second chance. Maybe I was caught up in thinking that we were going to be better than we ever were, and I can lay here blaming myself I let you break me apart again but it wasn’t my fault. It was your fault for breaking me. It was my fault for thinking you were going to be that person that I loved forever. I figured you always were going to love me, together or not. That ended when you had nothing to say to me. It ended for me too. I really do love you but in all honesty I hate the fact that I love you. Guess you never thought you’d hear that. The guy who was the most caring and loving guy who saw me the way no one did, I hate that I love you. The next girl will when you break her. I hope you learn eventually that you will never find love hiding in the shadows. I hope not for you, but for the next girl. I still want to see you as that person who loved me, who wanted kids with me, who I planned my life with. But you weren’t ever going to be that person, huh? You weren’t. You will never be. It’s not my fault that we didn’t have that. I hope that you find yourself one day thinking about your regrets and think of what we could have been, the love of your life who would’ve supported you in everything. That you’ll never get the love I gave you again, which was more than you ever deserved. Have a nice life loving with the heart that is so cold and not worth any part of me. If you ever wanted to know, I would have let you love me forever. I wish you saw me the way I used to see you as everything I will ever need, all this pain I’ve had has brought me to you, and I wouldn’t want anyone else ever again because I have the most beautiful person and I love him with everything that he is. I was just a shooting star you get to see once in a lifetime. To me, you were one of the many stars that I’ll see and you aren’t even the brightest most beautiful of the all that I will see in this lifetime.