if I were to describe you awhile ago I would’ve gone on about how I saw the world in you. I felt that sense of there was no reason to stay up worrying about life because you’d help me no matter what it was. You never felt that with me. you are an over thinker, it started to kill you from the beginning. You saw it hurt me to see you this way and the words I’d say you would just ignore. You said I was your world. I don’t know when that stopped being enough. Was it when you let me in? or was it when you cheated on me?
I was always enough. the way I cared and loved you more than anybody on this fucking planet. I held you when you left me. still then, you hated the touch of me. Maybe it was the guilt because you had no reason to treat me with such hate. During this whole year I never wanted to let anyone in, until you came along. The most beautiful person my eyes will ever see. I trusted you and felt the love from the first time I looked at you. I know you felt it too. I believe you loved me, but towards the end I didn’t feel like you stayed because you loved me. You couldn’t look me in the eyes and break me apart the way she did to you. You say you never wanted to hurt me. I know you never wanted to but what were you thinking when you touched her body when we were together. when you wanted to leave me for awhile and decided not to tell. Or after sex you started to just walk away like what I was giving you wasn’t enough. I forgave you, I listened to your heart and I know how broken it is and how your mind has been through so much. I tried to piece things back together after what you did to me because I knew you couldn’t. I did it because how could I possibly lose the person I’m supposed to spend my life with. How do I lose this person who will only love me. how do I lose the person who at a time wanted a life with me. It’s been a year since I saw you that first time and for once in my life something clicked. maybe we were supposed to meet so you could show me what love was like for awhile. Maybe like you said I was supposed to show you what love was supposed to be like for the first time, still after all this time you don’t see it. You see all the hurt, worrying in this world. you don’t see how in my eyes no matter what you do to me I am always going to love you. I know one day I’m going to find someone who loves me like you did for awhile except they won’t make me feel like I wasn’t enough. I am enough, hell im not sure anyone will love you the way I loved you. you will move on and find someone and I’ll pray that she sees through your lies. I’ll pray she doesn’t believe you when you plan a future together. I’ll pray she doesn’t love you more than anything she has ever loved. You will rip her piece by piece and she’ll take it because she doesn’t think she is supposed to be with anyone else. Everything she believes she needs is right in front of her. That is not true, she is better than you’ll ever be. she doesn’t break promises or ever stop trying to hold onto that love that was once between you two. I’ll pray that she realizes that you aren’t the world and that there is more to having him treat you like you don’t exist when that’s all you ever wanted him to see you as. I hope she leaves you and you finally realize that maybe you weren’t enough.