When I caught my wife cutting up… she said it was to prevent birds getting stuck in them like six-pac…

In days gone by we said you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink In these more opportune times it’s widely understood that

You’ve used others When you use your talents To serve yourself You’ve used God When you use your talents

I never knew who they thought I really was until I finally staked my claim

The screen you’re looking at seven hours a day is actually a magnifying glass

The critique of pure reason should have been that rational thought is impossible unless paired effectively with fee… As AI reaches escape velocity

When an American marries into a brood of Scots it’s a matter of when and not if we overdo it with the family tarta…

All men come with self-destruct bu… If he seems to be missing one, you’re the button

People think that their report car… will be graded Pass/Fail but since God has a mysterious rep… He gives two grades in every subje… You get an A for effort

I put out a comedy album Side A was called Wins Side B was called Losses Only one side was funny

The opposite of bad breath Isn’t good breath It’s fresh breath Because all breath is good So, you never have to hold your br…

If you try to control others The ones you will judge the harshe… Are those who are the hardest to c… Who are the ones who tell the trut… Because the truth is always one th…

Let’s call the before times “The… It’s not what you know It’s who you know But after the social media It’s not who you know

In Putin’s version of Let’s Make… he shows you what’s behind Door #1… - You let Putin run you through w… AND what’s behind Door #2: - You fall on your sword to atone…

Life isn’t perfect Because God’s love is