Easy to please but problematic to appease

When an American marries into a brood of Scots it’s a matter of when and not if we overdo it with the family tarta…

I know I think, Therefore I am All knowing Unless

Life has given us pumpkins ostensibly for carving and smashing but I smell an opportunity though the opportunity cost

I have not loved my neighbor as my… but I have consistently greeted hi… with an insouciant bonhomie

I can never remember street names navigating strictly by landmarks taking left turns just past abandoned doughnut shops impugning me to keep my marriage

The true test of power today is whether or not you can be forced to accept a forced apology

Now you only get to choose which hill you’re going to comply on

In my experience it’s not necessarily true that one plus one must equal two The sum is nearly always

I tried doing everything right Until I dug a hole Took a right turn at Albuquerque And realized There are no straight lines in my…

On Fresh Air they always mention that their rock historian lives in France as if he were in exile from rock a… the same way James Joyce wrote ab…

Instead of shooting bullets into t… to celebrate I raise my leaf blower towards the… On blue moons I do this from my jet ski

You both cause and cure real self-… by performing fake self-loathing for an online audience The cure takes when you’ve no authentic self left

I have a deep need for love but an even deeper fear of rejecti… and God is both the greatest gamble and the surest thing