I wasn’t born to follow mainly because I would never go through a red light

It’s all over but for the shouting and this is the shouting

Happy me, happy precis: Happy wife, happy life

Everything dear to you? You can take all of that and throw it out the Overton window

For twenty years people kept insis… that there was an elephant in the… but I just didn’t see it And then I realized I was the elephant

If you’re locked out of your house you can die from exposure but if you’re locked in your house you can die from overexposure

They can’t kick sand in your face if your head is al– ready in the sand

Whenever an authority figure says It’s my way or the highway I end up wanting to have it both w…

You’ve always dressed to impress But it’s only since social media That you can use your appearance To exact compulsory service

Going home had come to feel like dining in a restaurant where the food is celebrated but the customers merely tolerated

We’ve gone from individuals distinguishing themselves from the… begging to differ– “Whatever it is, I’m against it”- to groups

God is the world’s only super-bower

There are only two real superpowers: unacknowledged plagiarism and begrudging cooperation

Time marches on and for mere mortals it marches to the beat of its own… which is how we got rhythm But the immortals found

My wife is philosophically opposed to my habit of justifying things, say a bag of the really good kind… with the phrase: I deserve it