The only colleges left standing will be the ones that can make you look smart while you’re playing dumb

The one thing postmodernists know… is that the surest way to control… is to convince people there are no… prompting an endless chain of seco… while provoking so much anxiety

Each and every TikTok is a remake of the Zapruder film

The soul is an appendix made of wo… and while plenty of people function perfectly well without on… much like the physical appendix– which stores good bacteria

If you want to ruin a man give him what he wants– This is the devil’s only secret

I was the first ever lobster discovered in the wild with a rubber band around my claw clamping it shut

The worst-case scenario comes true when enough people believe it’s the best case scenario

You wanted them all to yourself because they didn’t want anything to do with you and this is the sound of

If you’ve been put in an impossibl… Consider the possibility that you Have been asked to do the impossib… And that a good leader Would never ask you to do

Unsatisfied with natural consequen… human beings concocted perverse in… which is to say where once we were mere mortals now we are self-defeating

Because bodies make a fart joke of… etiquette used to dictate that whe… passed gas at, e.g., a dinner part… the polite thing to do was to pret… the fart never happened

I thought I was too smart for my own good But happily, I’d overestimated my… and I was just smart enough to be vaporous

For a long time, the centrists were at the center of attention where the action was But now they find themselves at the center of a hall of mirrors

A dissident today is anyone who realizes that since you’re damned if you do damned if you don’t