Mid-life crisis: the failure to start hoping you don’t get what you want

Peanut butter’s not very good by itself but chocolate is Because I’m not very religious it’s important for me

In the old country song When Mac Davis sings “Oh lord it’s hard to be humble When you’re perfect in every way” I always assumed

Forgetting that God has promised To never repeat the Flood We’ve busied ourselves opening the… Expecting to end it all As we flood the planes

A rising tide lifts all boats But a rising sea floods all moats

God knows In a game of hide and seek The best place to hide everything Is right in front of your nose So, you’ll never believe what I j…

Give thanks to God For we are much obliged

Staring at your phone came to be known as the thousand yard stare

One would think the earth is flat “Unless” as the Coen brothers put it “round is funny”

The world is An interrogation room And God is behind The two-way mirror

You know you must die and yet you must live You can never know if you’re right and yet you must choose So it’s not

AI didn’t write this poem; it wrote the algorithm that decided whether or not you would read it

You start out needing money to advance your ideology but you end up mouthing your ideol… to rake in more money

I was always afraid to admit I knew they would knife me in the… Until I came to fear God Which is how I know He has my back

Domination is feudal But resistance seems futile And lo, we canoodle With the large standard poodle We all know as boodle