When people ask me How are you doing? I tell them That’s above my pay grade

I fist met Cap’n Crunch back when he was 2nd Lieutenant C… He did this weird thing where he’d… in the powdered milk powder and sa… Stays crunchy even in milk!

Insanity is also seeing people do the same thing over and over again and expecting them to let you cons…

The last thing Tony Robbins ever… You’re rather sanguine for somebod… he’s an incurable Pollyanna

In the cyber proxy war of all agai… We are all fighting each other So that none of us have to fight Our own worst inclinations

I spent most of my life naively believing that people mean what they say Then I came to understand that even when people don’t mean what t…

I don’t give a darn about my bland reputation

When success is made mandatory for all it becomes impossible for any

There used to be two types of peop… Those who wanted to Go ahead and get it over with And those who wanted to postpone t… This enabled some degree of self-s…

To break up with your significant other just say I need space To break it off

The Matrix is man-made And women have to live there Though, being closer to God They have one foot out the door Which is why it’s said

People complain that Jews stick t… In spite of, or, more likely, beca… That it is why Jews are still her… And always will be Jews stick together because

Once I realized that I wasn’t afraid of sky diving just that my parachute wouldn’t op… I was able to conquer my fear without ever leaving the ground

A mid-life crisis happens when you realize that life is a treadmill which keeps speeding up until you fall off

The number one cause of divorce Is holding a grudge We are divorced from reality Because we hold a grudge against t… We resent the truth