The Declaration of Independence w… revised to guarantee life, security and the pursuit of criminals

God is the world’s only super-bower

My social medi– a persona is the mime who just won’t shut up

My mistake was Worrying they would throw me to th… Which is how wolves in sheep’s clo… Herd sheep I only escaped when I learned

Nobody invents themselves so we’re left to choose between perfecting or reinventing ourselve… Nobody’s perfect of course

It was when Socrates ate the frui… that he added this second line of… I know that my wife knows everythi…

A man wants the mother of his children to be a chef in the kitchen “imaginative” in the bedroom a shrink in the living room

I’ve been racking my brains for the perfect response to accusations of perfectionism only to land at a conundrum: a confession of false modesty is

There’s always a deadline when I read a lifeline so I’ll cut right to the chase: Conjoined with your avatar you will live forever

The best way to prevent something from happenin… is to convince people that it already did

We’re all like unharvested potatoe… covered in dirt thinking that means we’ve got the dirt on each other

When we poll people about what the weather in heaven is like the most popular answer perhaps not surprisingly is like a cold day in hell

We’ve taken the last ember in the ashes for a glimmer of hope

The sign used to say: Gentlemen may remove their hats All others must Now it reads: Ladies and gentlemen may wear thei…

The screen you’re looking at seven hours a day is actually a magnifying glass