I have not loved my neighbor as my… but I have consistently greeted hi… with an insouciant bonhomie

My analyst says I want to have my cake and put it in a time capsule too

When the ruffian challenges the professional by querying Am I here to amuse you? the professional displays his domi…

As the enormous asteroid hurtled toward Earth I found myself working harder than ever

Nobody grows up wanting to be a mot– ivational speaker

My curated self has asked me for a divorce

We went from wearing galoshes over… to wearing galoshes over our shoes… to wearing galoshes as shoes and now we wear galoshes over galo…

If you’ve seen one mirror you’ve seen them all

If dreams are the fulfillment of wishes you aren’t allowed to make then daydreams are the fulfillment of wishes

The truth will set you free but consensus will get you academi… i.e., tenure

I don’t care about birds but I thrill when the squirrels can’t get to the birdseed

When I was a kid the rule was one kid got to pour two glasses of Coke and the other kid

On the Mt. Rushmore of cartoon mice I would put four Jerrys

All forms of life have an unconsci… sentient animals have developed co… to extend the unconscious’ operati… and human beings have developed la… to make consciousness the unconsci…

In the battle between good and evil good appears to be playing for a tie Evil,