I bought a Toyota because it’s bulletproof to compensate for the fact that I’m not even rubber bulletproof

All men come with self-destruct bu… If he seems to be missing one, you’re the button

I’m not afraid of jumping in front of a bus because I don’t want to jump in front of a bus I am afraid of

LL Cool J can’t live without his radio For me, it’s my patio

I thought I’d flown the co-op by living off the grid And yet I’m still a chicken only now I’m on the skids So I’ve up and joined a commune

Our civilization has gotten around God’s injunction to be our brother… by being our little brother’s book…

After years of therapy the stump came to see that there was an I, two even, in the giving tree

I could do a passable moonwalk in socks on linoleum but if I put on one glove I had to take off one sock

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and antisemitism

Socialists count on the fact that there are no private languages but there is

A mid-life crisis happens when you realize that life is a treadmill which keeps speeding up until you fall off

If you want a world that isn’t just a bunch of window dressing don’t have a world in which we’re all constantly being window…

If you can convince people that something is inevitable they will behave as if it’s already happened making its eventuality a non-event

If you want to ruin a man give him what he wants– This is the devil’s only secret

Notice how the giraffe evolved so that its neck is precisely long… to reach the water when it bends d…