I may not be deep but I compensate for it by getting deep into the weeds
Money is an illusion that fools al… We only have one currency to spend And it is time At the time of judgment day We will only be asked one question…
Both my parents were tall and I ended up a shrimp Not coincidentally, my diet has al… largely consisted of pink flamingo… though scientists insist that it’s…
My psychic told me I needed to ta… I said I already knew that I came here to look before I leap
Not much has changed but now I’m a glass is ten per– cent full kind of guy
The three most powerful words in the English language are not I love you; they are So be it
It took years of therapy but the octopus finally arrived at… that the reason she didn’t like th… was because they were so much alik…
The pleasure in a magic show is wondering how the magician did it
Our big mistake is thinking a leap of faith is a tandem parachute jump where God pulls the parachute and you float gently down
I don’t know what being alone with your thoughts is like for you but for me it’s like I’m watching them
Sanity requires distance And social media is always Right at our fingertips
Post-pandemic life is a broken rec… Where they keep saying If it ain’t broke Don’t fix it
A lot of brainiacs fail to believe… Because their excellent brains Fail the brainiacs What does a brain do? Because of the ever-shifting tides…
After the sexual revolution men thought they could finally get what they want AND what they… while women believed they could at… get what they need AND what they…
Never trust anyone who doesn’t believe in hell They’re almost always the ones whose idea of heaven is usurping God
