What do all apples have in common? It only takes one rotten apple to… Because all apples are unique But a mob of apples are uniquely b…

I want to believe in God I believe in UFOs I don’t believe in recycling I don’t want to believe in what th…

In the story of The boy who cried wolf There was no wolf Until there was And there still is

The best way to control somebody Is to divide the mind from the bod… Because the body is where the soul…

Jews learned the hard way That because God sanctions God also sanctions– In this lies their certainty about… Most other nations just know

A civilization can die From a variety of causes– Famine, conquest, madness, etc. In succumbing to boredom Ours will be the first

One thing I could do Was need control

When anything you think Can and will be used against you The purpose of state-funded educat… Will be learning not to think As the doyens of higher learning

God is a verb Woman is a noun And man is an adjective Put them together and you have Moderate

Your life, like everyone else’s will eventually accept death’s pro… and maybe it’s because from the moment you were born death has been saying yes to life

If you don’t believe I’m the Led Zeppelin of poetry just wait ‘til you see my poems go over like a lead balloon

Of late, being good materialists we put space first calling this universe spacetime Yet, at the speed of light it’s not space collapsing

Pacifism is the ultimate weapon For if you can prohibit your enemy From defending himself Then all that’s left Is to love him to death

Average academics Have a pet theory Dominant academics Have a pet theory about pet theori…

Instead of shooting bullets into t… to celebrate I raise my leaf blower towards the… On blue moons I do this from my jet ski