I always thought saying slide trombone was like saying pizza pie until I heard about the valve trombone

What is the difference between expressing a feeling and expressing the absence of feel… It is the difference between living under the threat of the Rea…

Initially, as you approach hell it feels like you’re getting a warm welcome

They say if you expect disappointment then you will never be disappointed But I say

The culture war is a cyber war where you can’t tell that you’re behind enemy lines until you’re compelled to read your lines

If you pull my heartstring I’ll say one of eleven pre-recorded phrases but you can only hear the ones in the first four dimensions

Because we are social beings whenever people said they have no… they always meant they have no soc… Real life was social life But now social life is short for

It takes billions of years for the… of stars to reach us on earth but for the light its passage is instantaneous Our current relationship with God

If Wile E. Coyote ever caught the Roadrunner he’d suddenly lose interest

You can’t be free of self-consciousness so you have to be free with self-consciousness; we call this condition

I wear black socks On the outside Because black is how I feel In the onside

There are only two real superpowers: unacknowledged plagiarism and begrudging cooperation

You’ll never convince me that when the sun and moon are out at the same time it isn’t the sun appearing at nigh…

You can tell that the far right Borg and the far left Borg are one Borg because Donald Trump

When the panacea for the pandemic was stored inside Pandora’s Box we ended up inside the panopticon