Upon dying peacefully in my sleep surrounded by family after a long, prosperous life the Grim Reaper looked at me and… I’m glad to see you’ve arrived saf…

In my second marriage I went all in on being authentic When she left she said that being with me

Theoretically, Schrodinger’s Cat is both alive and dead at the same time In reality, cats have nine lives and one death

Whereas Stanford decided to make its mascot a tree my wife is a decision tree and I am her mascot even though I couldn’t get into S…

To be the bigger person you need to realize that egos are like animals: the smaller their proportions the greater their proportional str…

For twenty years people kept insis… that there was an elephant in the… but I just didn’t see it And then I realized I was the elephant

You keep the peace they get everything else

Where once man strove to move mountains now he settles for making them

The first time I went to a robot… I said it hurts when I do this just as I bared my soul and the robot doctor said Don’t do that

Funny how as the left lost its sense of humor it became a joke

I was happily feeding at the trough when I noticed it had been filled with finger food

A woman’s air of mystery is intended as the breath of life but received by men as a crime to be solved

A human has being so, we call ourselves human beings God has meaning so, we call Him

Thinking and feeling necessitates a lot of linking and… Done alone you just get a sinking… while on screen they see blinking…

One would think the earth is flat “Unless” as the Coen brothers put it “round is funny”