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Chris Gaither

Chris Gaither

Killing Two Birds with One Phone

I am simultaneously purging
while binge watching TV on my Galaxy
by ignoring my wife and kids

Other works by Chris Gaither...
He’s a Shell of His Old Self

No one was more surprised than the… when we cracked open his shell and… the inside covered in mirrors
Who Are You Talking to When You’re Talking to Yourself?

Every ego is a God complex And like you I almost had myself convinced that I am who I am
Oh, the Humanities!

The trick is to craft a conformism so elaborate that you convince yourself it’s bespoke
Serving Is Both Pre-determined and Self-determined; We Have No Choice but to Choose Whom to Serve

When we serve God determinedly Every day is humbling As we marvel at what we have been… And with it, the chance to give on… When we serve ourselves relentless…
Relationships Begin with Chemistry and End with Alchemy, but Where Chemistry Is a Science, Alchemy Is a Mystery: The Work of Marriage Is Never Done, Which Is How It’s Done

If the honeymoon is over And things have gone leaden Rejoice, you have a lot of work to… Which is known as the golden age
Imagining Hell Is as Simple as Forgetting the Past in Order to Wipe Away the Future

Pressed on their oft explicit Sometimes implicit goal Of driving all of Israel’s Jews Into the sea, Western antisemites insist
Go First to Get It Over With; Go Last to Get Over on Them

Starting gun to my head I’ll finish what you started And run the race By running in place
False Modesty Is for Fooling Others, Exaggerated False Modesty Is for Fooling Yourself, and Genuine Modesty Is for Fools

The opposite of modest isn’t immodest, it’s honest The opposite of immodest is confident
I Feel Like the Third Wheel in a Set of Triplets

Fight fire With fire Accordingly, A bureaucracy can solve any proble… With more paperwork
“Such a war as is of every man against every man... In such condition there is... no account of Time”

Friendly competition is heaven on… Culture war is hell on wheels Of time But now that our culture’s wheels… We’ll soon be out of time
All My Control Needs Come from Fear of Abandonment, so God Sent Me Someone Whom No One Can Control but Who Will Never Leave Me

I was happy alone Because being together Meant being lonely Until you showed me That being together
Be Careful What You Mask For, You Just Might Beget It

We live in an age when the greatest danger is an excess of caution
“When you put a lot of individual rationalities together, what you get out of it isn’t a single rationality. You get something else. And you get something that an individual may not even be capable of understanding.” David Auerbach

An individual is someone who must… With the fact that he could be wro… And there’s no way to know for sur… But the choice must still be made The internet offers certainty
The More We Enjoy Life in This World, the Closer We Get to the World to Come

In this world The greatest pleasure Is always anticipation: Moshiach is coming!
Bigger and Better

I wasn’t shocked when scientists announced that a universe already infinitely… could still be expanding because I do have an ego



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