If people tell you what they plan to do and you don’t believe them it’s because pretending they don’t really mean it
I may not be the man who has everything but I’m the man who knows what to get for the man who has everything
There is only one product but infinite ways to package it
We don’t understand our childhoods so we spend our adult lives reenacting them in the hope that an outside observer
My wife wears her heart on her sle… Yet remains a total mystery– How can she be so sure? I’m sure I don’t know But sure enough
Everything dear to you? You can take all of that and throw it out the Overton window
Breathe in not out
The devil is a man for all occasio… Because we always have a choice To rise to the bait But God created man By giving him a choice
I’m afraid, I’m afraid not I’m afraid, I’m afraid not I’m afraid, I’m afraid not I’m afraid, I’m afraid not I’m afraid
I used to stand on the moral high ground to look myself in the eye but now that I’ve plucked it out and thrown it away
Big Brother used to just Cross his fingers To avoid telling the truth Then uncrossed them into a V for Vacancy
The smartest gal in the room Is the one who realizes All the adults in the room Are emotional children Behaving like holy terrors
How do I love me? Let me count t… I love me to the depths of my stom… and when in line in front of a lum… I’ll take the last fried rice in t… I love me to the level of Wall St…
When they drew a winner It looked like we’d won By the luck of the draw But we came by our good fortune The honest way:
When the ruffian challenges the professional by querying Am I here to amuse you? the professional displays his domi…