The annoying thing about blenders Is how loud they are But then again My mouth functions as a blender And I’m a loudmouth

Life is trying So Die trying

Theoretically, Schrodinger’s Cat is both alive and dead at the same time In reality, cats have nine lives and one death

The rise in sales of cruelty-free products exactly tracks the increased rate at which its consumers visit cruelty upon

We put tracking collars around ani… We put smartphones in our hands And in holding them We have our hands around our necks

In a Hegelian reversal, I couldn’t com– plain but it would help

We’re told the space between galaxies is expanding but mightn’t the space within galaxies

God knows that the only thing you can give the man who has everything is another chance

The two-week lockdown To bend the curve Turned into a year-and-a-half That bent our minds When

Tired of my pre-contemplation phas… God sent me my wife Who Contemplated me during the honeymo… Prepared me for fatherhood

One interpretation holds that the… And the Tree of Knowledge of Goo… Are one and the same tree Which makes sense to me Since when Adam and Eve decided t…

One wonders how they arrived at the 140 character limit per Twe… Did they consult the Kabbalah the average length of haiku or the heart rate of the hummingbi…

In inter-family feuds eventually the gloves come off but in intra-family feuds the masks come off

Everybody knows that Jews are indigenous to Israe… that they were frogmarched out into the oft-deadly diaspora by th… and that they have openly and

Reasonable people can disagree By agreeing to disagree But unreasonable people Can’t disagree on anything So, they have to agree on everythi…