Social media has made the famous so accessible that it’s like you can see the face of… but instead of dying you want to take a nap

Given a ship that would never sink we proceeded to run it aground in search of

When I was a young man I couldn’t see the forest for the trees Now that I am old and wise I can’t see the forest

Just because life is good doesn’t mean it isn’t also too much of a good thing

Now you only get to choose which hill you’re going to comply on

When life gives white people lemon… they make ginger tea lemonade wit…

It was all systems go in my search for a new belief syst… until I realized all systems go too far

We have achieved the classless society: eve– rything is tacky

I never knew who they thought I really was until I finally staked my claim

It takes talent to write a hit pie… but anyone can write a puff piece that in thirty years will read as a hit piece

Peanut butter’s not very good by itself but chocolate is Because I’m not very religious it’s important for me

The liberal who makes an illiberal… inevitably wants to have it both w… thereby tightening his own double… I must be free to have power over… but

If you want to remain married one partner should stay busy moving the goalposts while the other focuses on running out the clock

When I die I’m go– ing to donate my body to pseudoscience

Rest assured AI will give us exactly what we d… Because the devil is gentle but fa… Whereas God is tough but more tha…