It’s almost impossible to tell the difference between self-effacement and self-abasement In the former he stays down to earth

The state of nature, where there’s Something for everyone To fear Monotheism, where there’s Something for everyone

The word of God is written in invisible ink and must be lived in order to be truly seen unless and until those lives are d…

I survived my humiliation By treating it like a joke Through becoming a joke myself In order to in turn survive my bec… I became a running joke

They used to give me Birthday presents Now they give me A wide berth

The last waltz isn’t over until they come waltzing back in

Wittgenstein began by telling us t… Face the facts But the fact is A cold, hard bottle In the form of our addiction to

The number one rule For doing a number on us Is taking a number Because when our number comes up It’s only ever because our days ar…

7 in 10 Americans believe in heave… while only 6 in 10 believe in hell which is why the house always wins

Gaslight, gas bright First-class I seek tonight I wish I may I wish I might Have the wishful thought

What is wrong with the world today?: Dear Sir or Madam, You are.

If you take a hot-blooded child and raise him in a cold-blooded cu… don’t be surprised when you get a lukewarm-blooded vulture

On the Mt. Rushmore of cartoon mice I would put four Jerrys

We’re told the space between galaxies is expanding but mightn’t the space within galaxies

Because bodies make a fart joke of… etiquette used to dictate that whe… passed gas at, e.g., a dinner part… the polite thing to do was to pret… the fart never happened