Just as birds regurgitate to feed their young human beings have culture

I’ve never been good at shaving I struggle to put on deodorant wit… And I’m frequently dripping tooth… Onto that same shirt In this an many other ways

I have an idea: I have no idea

Our phones are latched to our face… Exactly like the Facehugger in Al… Rendering us passive As our phones insert the bioweapon We call fear

Self-discipline is The only real self-indulgence Everything else is self-abnegation

Nothing is more anathema to our ti… than a phrase that was still secon… just five minutes ago: May the best man win To understand everything we’ve los…

It was an offer I thought I couldn’t refuse: You can sit there and take it Or leave it Having nowhere to go

As a start Put your mouth where your money is… This is called telling the truth But, of course Telling the truth

We hit it off: she’d declawed her cats and I’d plucked my cacti’s needles

Language shouldn’t work A word, all words Are defined by other words Defined by still further words And on and on

After years of therapy the stump came to see that there was an I, two even, in the giving tree

The quartermaster is responsible f… and nothing more Some of you will be content to half-ass the rest of it Some of you will be willing to ris…

You may or may not realize it yet But you’re in the army If you do You’ve got your marching orders; It’s up to you to follow them

When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs

Our civilization is like an egg– It can withstand enormous pressure at the top (for the obvious reasons) and bottom