None of us can see further than our own noses but Pinocchio can see further than the rest of us

In the battle between good and evil good appears to be playing for a tie Evil,

Our civilization is like an egg– It can withstand enormous pressure at the top (for the obvious reasons) and bottom

I always like to know where I stand and I always bring an umbrella that can double

They used to pay us A penny for our thoughts But then they realized We would pay them To think for us

With the sexual revolution as with all the other belief syste… what men take as an article of faith women have to wear

“Life”, as it’s come to be known,… And ends with a grand finale But in between there’s just a lot… And grandiloquent small talk But there are grand plans for a se…

My greatest fear is losing control but I’m not in control I have an eternal soul but I’m afraid to die I’m scared of making mistakes

Slow and steady wins the race If there is no finish line How do you win If you can’t finish first? If you’re the one

Do I still get credit For ignoring the critics If they are just the voices in my…

You know a civilization by its ass… and ours assumes a great deal of d… To finance that debt we assume that the best predictor of future… is past behavior

In the age of divorce It needs to be said: If you don’t want to end up divorc… Do not covet your neighbor’s ex-wi…

I can love God forever Or I can have a beautiful bust of… And gaze upon it until I die Or, even better Upload the image of my bust to the…

My boss said It’s my way or the highway so, I took the highway to hell But when God said It’s your way or the doorway

I thought I was choosing between Life and death When really, I was choosing betwe… First and last place So, when I thought I chose life