The makers of Fitbit Bring you the Pleasure Measure Because after you get your steps i… It’s time to get your fun done!

Relationships are hard work unless you’ve preemptively announc… that you’re quitting but staying on as a volunteer

You keep the peace they get everything else

All cars have always been getaway cars because they tell the world how much you’re getting away with but now all cars are SUVs

It feels like I’m writ– ing an unauthorized au– tobiography

I’m never Ready But I’m always Overprepared

My wife fell right back in love with me when we came up with a rubric

Home is where you go and you have to take their shit-eating grin

It takes guts to admit you don’t belong but it’s easy to read a sign that says No admission

Everyone has a shoe size and a city size– I wear an 11 and a half and a 600,000

It’s not how well you prompt AI it’s how promptly you do so because he who laughs first will have the last laugh

In my second marriage I went all in on being authentic When she left she said that being with me

Our view from the mor– al high ground was blocked by the Mt. Rushmore of golf

Human beings evolved to avoid face-to-face conflict which was why until very recently everybody was talking behind each…

The biggest stumbling block in bel… that God is in control is further accepting that He put us in charge