Everyone makes fun of the weatherman for getting the forecast wrong as if getting it right is his real job

When they start to call you clear-eyed it just means you’re a cynic whose time has come

You cannot beat God in any sport but you can tie him in bowling

God is equal parts Ardor and candor But we can’t get a handle on True love

Mother Goose was always considere… a good enough mother Until lately we realized her failure to smother It was unanimous

The cogito may be airtight but its reverse– I am, therefore I think– is less certain

I’ve done the math and the whole is only greater than the sum of its parts when the group is made up of individuals

To whom it may concern: Time travel is impossible

And just like that the safety of ironic distance gave way to the false intimacy of over-proximi…

The soul is an appendix made of wo… and while plenty of people function perfectly well without on… much like the physical appendix– which stores good bacteria

I have just complet– ed my memoirs: One Hundred Years of Solid Food

After that instead of talking about the weath… or staring at their phones people stared at anyone who talked

At bottom God is a brute fact and Satan a brutal fact

Your search for a vein is now done in vain under the soft tyranny of wireless narcotics in whose touchless embrace

Life is defined by failure But you can transcend failure If you die trying