The turning point came after I pegged my happi– ness to the dollar

It’s always a bad idea To admit you have no idea Put another way: No idea is a bad idea You get the idea

It’s almost impossible to tell the difference between self-effacement and self-abasement In the former he stays down to earth

You can’t put a square peg in a round hole but you can put a JPEG in a memory hole

The people pleaser’s greatest mist… is believing that if you always walk the line you will never have to

Would my dentist still want me to floss if he knew that’s how I justified not going to the dentist

You can only e– ver explain things with that which cannot be explained

We are all problem children Our problem is Everything we do is done to get a… As if every action doesn’t come wi… An equal and opposite reaction

The pursuit of fame is the human equivalent of a dog chasing its own tail

There are only two questions: Are we asking the right question? and Who gets the last word?

The internet is based on sensual p… Minus three or four of the senses And one or two dimensions of space…

If nothing is possible Because of the inevitable– We mortals all die in the end– Then we are left to do the impossi… And become immortal by

I don’t give a darn about my bland reputation

It could be the truth if it couldn’t go viral But it’s definitely pravda if it speeds our downward spiral

I can’t guess your age but I can guess your age when you got that tattoo