As the enormous asteroid hurtled toward Earth I found myself working harder than ever

Carry a pen, should you need to write “Note to self: Congratulations!”

We spend our whole lives going in… Our mistake is believing that we’r… When we’re always either Slowly spiraling upwards Or caught in a downward spiral

Our central moral sentiment– that doing the right thing is its… hasn’t done us much good because through it we live in deni… that in this world

No one ever told the truth but not a one of us were liars because we always spoke exclusivel… in the future tense

I always like to know where I stand and I always bring an umbrella that can double

I have a different problem: there are no feelings to express my words

Life is short because God knows to leave us wanting more

Ever since I got my first smartphone it feels like I’m visiting a museum and all the decent human beings

On the Mt. Rushmore of cartoon mice I would put four Jerrys

I could do a passable moonwalk in socks on linoleum but if I put on one glove I had to take off one sock

A man starts out lying for instant gratification Inevitably, this progresses to buy… his unending rationalizations

John F. Kennedy’s hair was so lus… for the most part men never wore hats again At first we must have looked oddly like tub…

I won’t rest ‘til O– prah puts me on the cover of her magazine

The older that I get, the more wanton lust looks like wanting for love