When Eddie Money said “I’ve got two tickets to paradise” he didn’t mention that the paradise sales team only sells tickets in pairs
The stapler inevitably jams And it’s always the stapler That jams the copier Except for the times it jams When you try to copy something you…
Some people have baggage; I come with furniture Fortunately, my wife enjoys rearranging
The devil’s one job Is making you an offer You can’t refuse And there’s only one thing The devil can’t offer
A grown up is someone who knows the right thing to do and does it anyway
It was always an intriguing though… to imagine knowing the date of you… until AI in a thought experiment of its own reimagined death
People will only tell the truth when they think they can get away with it For example, perjury laws only wor… by publicly threatening jail time
Beginner is talking yourself into doing what you are going to do anyway Advanced is talking yourself out of doing
I’d always said Que sera, sera expecting the last guffaw Instead it’s a last hurrah before one or the other coups d’et…
Like Ikea fur– niture, I am difficult to put together
Just as birds regurgitate to feed their young human beings have culture
I can forgive myself anything exce… All of my contingency planning Was contingent upon Sending a contingent of negotiator…
Never Win Anything
“You want fries with that?” used to be a line to mock the working poor How ironic that “You want fries with that?”
Whereas Stanford decided to make its mascot a tree my wife is a decision tree and I am her mascot even though I couldn’t get into S…
