God: Do you trust me? Me: It’s not my fault!

The discomfort that Americans now all evince in one another used to be reserved for old people who get rich quick

I’ve always been more interested in who wrote the book of self-love

If you want a world that isn’t just a bunch of window dressing don’t have a world in which we’re all constantly being window…

The only way God can love us all the same amoun… Is by loving each of us infinitely And the only way God can love each of us differentl…

The smartest gal in the room Is the one who realizes All the adults in the room Are emotional children Behaving like holy terrors

You’re only truly clever When the devil says “Live forever If only from God you’ll sever” And you reply “Never For God is always my lever

As AI gets smarter and smarter we’ll grow cuter and cuter until like a pug who struggles to breath… we’re too cute for our own good

Miss Suzie had a scapegoat The scapegoat was Hillel Miss Suzie went to heaven The scapegoat went to Hello terminator

When I was a kid we thought the end of the world was coming any minute via The Button Instead it came a little later

On a sphere If you drill down far enough Eventually you will find yourself Drilling up to the surface So, while we may never get to the…

Never Win Anything

We are all problem children Our problem is Everything we do is done to get a… As if every action doesn’t come wi… An equal and opposite reaction

We are gathered around our phones Like little campfires And all we ever hear Are scary stories

In my experience it’s not necessarily true that one plus one must equal two The sum is nearly always