I spent my childhood running from my problems. Afraid of standing up for myself but too stubborn not to. My mother used my relationship as cover for what she was doing; weapons against me because I knew her truth. She feared me more than I feared her because she saw the fire in my soul. She knew I would never let her hurt my family, no matter what extent I had to go to, I would give my life for them before I let her win. For years she made my life a living hell. Drugged me to lose a pregnancy I didn’t know she knew about. Told my family lies about me-made me look like I was doing what she was all along, covering her own ass with me. I took the fall. But I stood strong and proud. I left every chance I could. I fought hard for something I could never have, but I didn’t care. I loved him and I hated her. For years she manipulated me, used me as cover for what she was hiding. But I knew. And she knew that I knew.  After 4 years of taking unruly blame, being lied about, running from her, and just plain living my damn life the way I wanted to they discovered what she was hiding. Instantly you could see the regret on all of their faces, knowing my cries and pleads were true. They finally saw her for who she was, and me for who I wasn’t. The day that she was discovered I raised a beer to God and it tasted of sweet victory. I’d waited so long for this moment-and I knew I would wait one month and watch and then when all the cards were on the table, I left and I never went back. I moved out at 16 years old. Too young to be on my own but you see that’s the great thing about what she put me through... I had no choice but to grow up. To find strength in myself and give myself what no one could. I did it. I graduated high school working a full time job and completing my first year of college. I slaved for 4 years and now I’ve made it. Despite all the pain in my life and the lives of those around me, I conquered. She had the upper hand for years and now she has nothing to hang over my head but her own shame. She knows what she did to me. She knows what she did to all of us. Everyone knows that she lied now. Holding on through all of it made the end result so satisfying. Because I think you knew too. Even though I didn’t tell you, I think you knew.