honouring the occasion of getting my first subutex script
Dedicated to all the fuckers who bet against me,you were right
no more secrets the truth is out,
I’d like to think its over but that I sorely doubt,
the Fuck up’s a junkie on a script, oh the shame!
and demons and wrong 'uns will be given the blame.
but turn the eyes of judgment on me,
for I chose to embrace oblivion you see,
it was up to me to fly or to fall,
they had no influence on my choices at all.
and I did indeed fall in a spectacular way,
all the while vowing to make them all pay,
but after a decade more wasted the truth is plain,
I was the creator of my madness and pain.
of all the past and present has shown,
the monster I was, I made on my own,
a monster of demons, of addiction and greed,
and woe betide those who follow my lead.
I’ve pill popped, pissed up and wasted my life,
I failed as a daughter, as a mother a wife,
lost to myself and the chemical release,
praying for the pain and madness to cease.
for all the people is hurt I paid a big cost,
my mother, husband and daughter I’ve lost,
tried to make amends but its never the same,
drugs were the gamble and I lost the game.
(2012)
Though this particular attempt failed i got there in the end..2years after i wrote this
