this is a promise
(Never a threat)
don’t dare to play the martyr,
don’t try to shift the blame,
don’t hate wen we give up and run for the hills,
don’t try and deny my shame.
don’t forget why you are lonely,
don’t rage until the last,
don’t try and guilt trip me into coming back,
the power you once held has passed.
don’t forget the hateful shit you pulled,
that it was you who wouldn’t let it be,
don’t forget all the messages, the drive by’s the calls,
don’t forget that you aimed it at me.
don’t re write history to suit you,
don’t forget that I witness you fall,
lost to the madness and consumed by grief,
don’t pretend that you’re perfect at all.
don’t forget the messed up things we saw,
dont forget I was only a kid,
don’t wonder whether it affected me,
I can assure you dear that it did.
don’t forget the beatings I saw you take,
if I can’t then neither should you,
don’t think sorry could reconcile us,
that ship has long sailed too.
don’t forget any lies you tell them now,
all the nasty things you say,
coz one day they’ll question your version of things,
and if you bullshit them, they’ll make you pay.
dont cry when you end up all alone,
and wonder why you’re scorned,
don’t bemoan the outcomes of the games you’ve played,
don’t ever say you weren’t warned.
don’t forget how much I adored you,
don’t say “this is the thanks I get”,
your guilt turned to hatred, that pushed me away,
make sure that you never forget.
stop hating and playing those mind games,
don’t let anger distort what you see,
don’t drag them into your battles,
don’t you turn them kids into me.
don’t forget to tell them you love them,
as you tuck them in at night,
resolve to give them the life i can’t,
make protecting them your fight.
don’t stop them living the life they want,
they’ll both do you proud I swear,
and know that even if you keep me away,
I’m their mam i’ll always be there.
don’t imagine that you’ve destroyed me,
that I’ve vanished without a trace,
coz if you screw them up like you did me,
know its me that you’ll have to face.
(2014)
