what cost,utopia?
this obsession with getting a new life,
left me all alone and lost,
I ploughed on regardless without looking back,
or stopping to ponder the cost.
I never once thought of the fallout,
only what was “right” for me,
of what I wanted how selfish I was,
only seeing what I wanted to see.
pre occupied with my “better life”,
too busy out having fun,
never around to realise the truth,
that I had completely screwed up my son.
worst of all, I’ve been there,
where the poor little sod’s at right now,
the Fuck up result of fucked up parents,
how could I do it to him, how?
now I’m the one doing the wronging,
I’ve somehow become all that I hate,
I have to get sorted for the sake of my son,
I just pray I’ve not left it too late.
to start repairing the damage,
to be the mam that he needs me to be,
to stop him from walking a familiar path,
to stop him from following me.
(2014)
