mirrors are painful
why is it that you hate me so,
why you really hate me dad,
i know the reasons you’ve given to everyone else,
that I’m wicked, immoral and bad.
but I don’t fall for the bullshit,
there’s something much darker at play,
silent so long to not show you up,
now I’m done and having my say.
so let’s explore the root of this hate,
go back to where it began,
long long ago wen this girl was a kid,
and you a much younger man.
no two could ever be closer,
than your princess and her dad,
and the princess had an important job,
to stop him from being sad.
coz her daddy had his demons,
more than a young girl could dare comprehend,
and sometimes he went to a hospital,
and they’d get him back on the mend.
but still the princess worried,
coz dad had a broken head,
and she was terrified that one day soon,
she’d find her daddy dead.
a fear that proved scarily true,
coz on one fateful day,
daddy tried to top himself,
on princess’ 12th birthday.
princess had so many feelings,
confusion flooded her brain,
scared again but for the first time angry,
that he could do that and cause her such pain.
but he was still her daddy,
and he never did any wrong,
and she would make him better again,
it wouldn’t take very long....
so how did daddy treat her,
for all the caring she did,
did he spoil her rotten as good dads should?
no he fucked off and abandoned his kid.
he had to choose between her and a woman,
and princess lost out to a poke,
and he’d do the same thing time after time,
so predictable it was becoming a joke.
but princess still had love for him,
so she constantly forgave and forgot,
and she’d resume her role and set to work,
to stop dad from losing the plot...
did daddy learn his lesson then,
sorry to say he did not,
he’d say sorry and promise he’d changed this time,
and promptly forget the lot.
Wat happened at 15 is well known now,
so we’ll skip and miss that part,
we all no the outcome of Wat happened that night,
that it broke and shattered her heart.
and this is where the hatred starts,
this is where all the anger begins,
you’d chosen a woman over your children again,
and slandered me to cover your sins.
if we kept a score card,
and marked it for every sin,
though I’ve done plenty of wrong in my life,
I’m still convinced you’d easily win.
but while you’re let off for your numerous wrongs,
my punishment was as hard as can be,
you took away my aunty dianne,
coz you knew it would devestate me.
you wanted to make me suffer,
for the crime I committed on you,
I had to choose between you and a man,
and for once I didn’t choose you.
for that I deserve to be punished for life,
for the ultimate crime I shud be nailed,
for my existence torments the hell out of you,
coz I stand as proof that you failed.
you weren’t good enough to be my dad,
and only now you see,
that there’s consequences to your life of sins,
that consequence is me.
every bit a Fuck up,
good points depressingly few,
failed wife+mother, a junkie and thief,
you hate me coz I’m you.
