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I open my eyes and see the stars fulfilling the darkened sky. Only light is from this full but distant moon. I replay my memories and how great they were. As the moon moves across the sky. Looking down at my hands. An half empty bottle in one and a missing hand from the one I love in another. I walk down this dirt road. Taking instantaneous downs of my drink. As my steps seem to sway after each sip. Thinking about the things I have done. And the things I wish to do in the future. I hear a coyote howl somewhere towards the north. It’s hard to tell how far.I smile and think about it for just a moment. Because the more I think about it the more I feel like a coyote.  Once a lone wolf, But an Alfa. Not needing any but myself for what I want or need. Nothing could get in my way and I wen’t after what ever I wanted. Taking charge. Fighting back and fighting for what was mine. Now a coyote still not needing anything. But not fulfilled. Howling for a sign of someone to no longer be lonely. Just scavenging and emotionally weaker. But as they say what goes up must go down. But also once you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up. I am at rock bottom. I am heading up.

(2015)

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