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Two-Faced
Soft beating through my chest
Thumping in my ears
Now the constant drum roll stopping
Holds myself in fear
Once I swore I’d give it all away
But with the knife at my wrist
There was a delay
Why?
Am I meant to be here?
Is something good coming near?
Maybe there’s something meant for me out there
Maybe someone ‘up there’ really does care
But then why must this consume me daily?
To the point where I want to scream out and beat that slut Haley
Why must I ‘look’ sick
To be ‘believed’ as sick?
The burning is inside
Even though I sometimes hide
Through a laugh or a smile
But the pain goes on for miles
Just let me be me
The future I’ve searched to see
Not stuck in this rut
Never seeing past the scar where I’ve cut
Because I need to believe there is more
I need to open my wings and let them soar
Starting a new chapter
Without pain as the main factor
I want to turn this bleeding and this doom
Into a plant in spring that is ready to bloom
(2011)
