The Talking Tympani
 
“My head hurts when you
Beat me up so much
With your constant pounding
 
The next time you use me,
Find a softer ballad so I
Won’t hurt so bad
 
Or may I sit the next one out
When the orchestra plays
Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture?
 
Please leave me alone
For a while
 
By the way,
Do you have any
Alka-Seltzer?”

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