Every glimpse drives me away;
I don’t want to be afraid
Of meeting that warming gaze,
Laughing it off in promise that some day
I’ll find the nerve to change;
A deceit to myself
Picked up from everyone else.
When I look to his eyes and all I see
Are echoes of words, written in sincerity
I struggle to think, even more to let in
This feeling that I’m allowed to be free;
Am I being used again?
You’d think I’d be over it by now,
Cleaned up so many times
But the sweat won’t break my brow.
These boys, they know how to break you down,
Leaving bricks to wall up the view;
Safe with myself, but there’s so little room for you.
Between his eyes and my mind,
I can’t seem to find
A middle ground; then I must be blind.
The question of love; is it only lust?
Asked by the child of broken trust.
I pray the answer comes with time; and time alone.
Maybe I’ll never know.