I Hunt
I hunt.
The mist wraps around my skin
The slightly damp air feels suffocating
Yet free
I know my time is drawing near
For now – however – I wait
Like a tiger, stalking it’s prey
Motionless
Barely breathing
I can hear footsteps
Yes
They are coming
I know what I must do
The object in my hand weighs heavy
Soon it will be lighter, but a worse weight will bear down on my soul
Like a black stain
And yet, knowing this, I still will do it
A man must eat
And I will take my opportunity
The gun hangs in my grasp
My eyes narrow
The footsteps loom ever closer
Mocking me
They won’t mock me
Not anymore
I can feel it on my neck
I can feel Him breathing on it
No
He’s dead
He can’t hurt me anymore
I hold my gun up
Raise it towards this monster in front of me
I will eat tonight
Whatever it takes
My finger softly lands on the trigger
It is in front of me
I hear His raspy voice in my ear
I will eat tonight
I squeeze
And for a second the night lights up
And then the darkness returns
Tighter
More hateful than before
His breathing on my neck has stopped
The night’s sounds are gone, quieted by that harsh crack
The mist on my skin burns
Like acid
The air feels thick around me
My gun still leaks greyish smoke
I walk to the felled beast
The young man looks to be about my age
His eyes gaze into the nothingness of night
And, I think I can still hear him breathing
I release another shot, directly down.
My eyes, cold, hardened like steel.
And the breathing on my neck continues again
Now seemingly met by another
The ambience of night-time continues
I check what he has, barely enough to keep me going for a day.
I will continue tomorrow
The breath down my neck multiplies
Until dozens of quiet, pained breaths are going down my neck.
I feel
Cold
I can never face these phantoms
They always seem just out of reach
What would they say?
What would they think?
Some, easily into their fifties
One, barely fourteen
I don’t care anymore
Not since him
The one who never leaves
The man who tried to help me, on that first fateful night
I know his hatred
His silent resentment
I share it too
A man must eat.
I leave the corpse, having taken all of value
I wish I could care
I wish I could hate myself still
But I just feel
Alone
Surrounded by all those I have wronged
And yet
So
So
Alone
And I wish that I had known
What would become of me
On that fateful day
How could it have been different?
What if I didn’t have to hunt?
A pipe dream
I am too far gone
I know what I must do
All I can do
Tomorrow
I hunt
