My boss said It’s my way or the highway so, I took the highway to hell But when God said It’s your way or the doorway

Men are from Mars Women are from everywhere else

Eat, drink And be merry But don’t drink And derive

In wristwatch advertisements the doomsday clock is always set to ten past ten

The first thing you’re taught is t… you can make some of the people drink Coke all of the time and you can make all of the people drink Coke some of the time but

LL Cool J can’t live without his radio For me, it’s my patio

Life is a test but I’d been treating it like a quiz– which is a preparation for a test– under the assumption that when I d…

It turns out that the afterlife is only as long as you can keep the exit interview go…

Less self-interest is in your best interest except on Pinterest

As long as I’m working I only feel free time slipping away The fear is that if I stopped working

It never snows anymore in Baltimore but it did before you left open the refrigerator doo…

Don’t think of a pink elephant and while you’re at it Don’t kill the messenger

I’ve been racking my brains for the perfect response to accusations of perfectionism only to land at a conundrum: a confession of false modesty is

If you travel through time it’s always the best of times and the worst of times; it’s just the ratio