During the rodeo clown shortage nobody thought that the rodeo mime… but the mimes surprised everyone distracting the bulls by silently evoking the dignity
Our souls have a body Our bodies have five senses And we all have a sixth sense That there is no sixth sense Yet we’re left with a sense of sel…
The difference between the walking… And the walking dead Is what they have in common– The walking wounded can laugh at t… And the walking dead can only laug…
7 in 10 Americans believe in heave… while only 6 in 10 believe in hell which is why the house always wins
A funny thing happened when I told them that you can either laugh or you can cr… No one laughed but for a second
Self-flattery will get you everywhere but there’s nowhere left to go
If the honeymoon is over And things have gone leaden Rejoice, you have a lot of work to… Which is known as the golden age
It’s not just that “Man is wolf to man” It’s that he has always known this about himself and yet
In wristwatch advertisements the doomsday clock is always set to ten past ten
I thought I was choosing between Life and death When really, I was choosing betwe… First and last place So, when I thought I chose life
It was when Socrates ate the frui… that he added this second line of… I know that my wife knows everythi…
The surest way to know That God is always there for us Is that we always have a choice This is why religion and liberalis… Are a match made in heaven
The conceit of individualism was that you could have a type without even wondering if you might be a type
There are only two real superpowers: unacknowledged plagiarism and begrudging cooperation
Asked to account for his success w… he explained that he drives his ca… like he won it on The Price Is R…
