Even when I’ve had sweet dreams Sleeping leaves a bad taste in my… Because even good dreams are bad d… Since the worst thing you can do t… Is to fulfill his wishes

When the world is a tsar Insisting: Don’t you dare be who… Take it as a dare and risk the sca…

In the new version of Heads I win, tails you lose People hate to be wrong But love to apologize And if you accept their apology

When I ask myself if I might be wrong, there’s a whole lot of red tape

Mid-life crisis: the failure to start hoping you don’t get what you want

The original version’s working title was The Giveth and Taketh Away Tree but Silverstein couldn’t get it published

Faith can only move mountains by ignoring mountains of evidence Like most people who’ve lost their… I’ve retained my ability to ignore mountains of evidence

Paradoxically When you have a one-track mind Your body can go anywhere For your soul to accomplish anythi…

In a twist in hell there are no consequences

Most lives are lived in service to one institution or another but only very recently has this begun to feel

The conceit of individualism was that you could have a type without even wondering if you might be a type

The first thing you’re taught is t… you can make some of the people drink Coke all of the time and you can make all of the people drink Coke some of the time but

The first time I went to a robot… I said it hurts when I do this just as I bared my soul and the robot doctor said Don’t do that

The narcissist is a two—sided coin… Heads, I need you Tails, I hate you– and the more you meet a narcissist… the more they will hate you

In the real world there is no plot to speak of but plot devices everywhere