Every time I’ve totally lost it It was because I feared I had lost control But they can imprison you, torture… And yet they can’t take your self-…

It turns out they were right when they removed the self-destruc… explaining You won’t be needing this anymore now that you have autocorrect

The old playbook was all about helping you know the right time to go for it

The lower classes are those people who are not allowed to compete To feel good about perpetuating th…

This world is backwards And reverse is the only way forwar… How do we put it in reverse When everything is backwards? By rediscovering our drive

It’s still wise not to panic but now it’s because you need to keep your powder dry for a moral panic

You need a high in– come to claim the moral high ground on your taxes

Self-flattery will get you everywhere but there’s nowhere left to go

People used to kill the goose that laid the golden egg because they wanted more gold

You’ll be able to tell that nobody knows what anything is wort… when no one knows who they can tru…

The biggest risk of immortality is the lack of risk Chances are you’ll be bored to dea… for all eternity

Yes Life is a pain But it is a labor pain

In a post-pandemic bid to remain relevant the SATs have removed all true/false questions in acknowledgment that such questi…

In the movies they always guess right when it’s time to cut the blue wire or the red wire on the ticking time bomb

Life is short because God knows to leave us wanting more