Jews learned the hard way That because God sanctions God also sanctions– In this lies their certainty about… Most other nations just know

You could say I tried stand-up but for the audience it was more like when the flight attendant demonstrates how to put on your own oxygen mask…

I’m never Ready But I’m always Overprepared

When the whole world is a disaster area everyone becomes a comic relief worker

In this earthly abode ‘Twas sadness that flowed With each new download Of binary code To ease our workload

The difference between the Pax Romana and the Pax Americana is that while all roads lead to Rome

It’s almost impossible to tell the difference between self-effacement and self-abasement In the former he stays down to earth

On Fresh Air they always mention that their rock historian lives in France as if he were in exile from rock a… the same way James Joyce wrote ab…

The New Revised Standard Version… A frenemy of yours is a frenemy of… whereas the New King James Versi… The frenemy of my frenemy is my fr…

We live in an age when the greatest danger is an excess of caution

It’s a lot easier for men to dwell in the mystery of what a woman wants than to acknowledge what it is exactly that

The US Constitution rules out cruel and unusual punishment but that and a nickel will get you 1% of a cup of coffee now that cruelty is the usual

Humble pie is A required taste Until it becomes An acquired taste

What do you call it when people are so bored that they start playing with fire and soon enough find themselves fighting fire with fire

The day I found out I was as deep as a basket of botto… was the same day I learned that the problem with fishing for compl… is that you can’t throw them back