When I was a baby My mother wiped my bum Social media, then, is the fountai… As I become its obedient child Every time it wipes my memory

On a gray scale Of one to ten I’m a perfect five

I know how it must sound– A two-year long two—week lockdown— But let me expound And dish the lowdown: What we fear’s a hoedown

We’ve been traveling down a street… Post-enlightenment Secular Materi… And the thing about a dead-end str… Is that it seems like any other st… Until you come to the dead end

Relationships are hard work unless you’ve preemptively announc… that you’re quitting but staying on as a volunteer

I like positive reinforcement As much as the next guy And the next guy Gets a lot of likes So, it’s back to the grindstone

If we insist It’s not a competition It becomes A war If we admit

Told to shut my mouth I took them literally Zipped my lips And held my breath Until I could stomach it no longe…

You can’t quite see it but Moe also pokes Curly right in his third eye

Updating Nietzsche with a nod to Vince Lombardi Art isn’t the proper task of life; it’s the only task of life if life…

All self-help books boil down to this: You can’t fold a piece of paper more than 7 times but if you could fold it 103 times

In the first take of Braveheart’s… Mel Gibson directed William Wall… “Freedom and responsibility!” But as a practiced antisemite Gibson quickly realized his error

He should have said: If everything is permitted then God does not exist

The universe is a kinetic watch so time only keeps going if we’re on the move making Zeno’s paradox of motion just a way of reassuring ourselves

To elide is to join together by omitting The world elides Jews abide