I believe in a future in which man perfects the art of expressing his discontent in bushes that look like clouds

Social media has made the famous so accessible that it’s like you can see the face of… but instead of dying you want to take a nap

I am going to delay early retirement until everyone is middle class

Going home had come to feel like dining in a restaurant where the food is celebrated but the customers merely tolerated

In the beginning God said Let there be light A week later In the Garden of Eden

The distorting effects of social m… have left us warped But we’ve made the best of it seeking our daily pleasure in deciding what

My wife is a lot like God If God weren’t perfect Like Him, she’s my toughest criti… But also my fiercest champion

We thought it would last forever but in retrospect we were having a high time at low tide when the clam digging was easy and the eating was good

I’ve never won an argument with my wife but since I learned to let her have the last word I’ve consistently covered the spre…

Guilty, I’d pled when left for dead for what I had said but as the undead squeezed my bonehead

After the sexual revolution men thought they could finally get what they want AND what they… while women believed they could at… get what they need AND what they…

I spent most of my life naively believing that people mean what they say Then I came to understand that even when people don’t mean what t…

I’ve long since stopped working on myself but I work overtime on my curated self

1. Make so much money you could he… 2. Remind yourself that “there’s n… 3. Tell yourself you need to feed… 4. Eat like kings

Eat, drink And be merry But don’t drink And derive