My utopia is a dystopia where I get to say I told you so

Instead of a Che Guevara t-shirt I have a Carol Burnett henley

I spent most of my life naively believing that people mean what they say Then I came to understand that even when people don’t mean what t…

Wash, Rinse, Reinterpret

I don’t meet many people with a mind like a steel trap Instead, the really smart people tend to have minds like trawling n… to catch the really big fish

When my father-in-law dusted the cobwebs off our front p… they were back within the week It is hard to feel sorry for a spe… that has negligible capacities for…

Asked for his thoughts on God the materialist replied Nothing doing The mystic said Exactly

The fatal mistake Is taking his weakness For kindness

I was a bullshit artist until I realized a career as a bullshit scientist paid better

Privacy is when everyone can see you but no one is watching Surveillance is when no one can see you

The biggest shock of Judgment Day Was that they don’t give out grade… Just comments Which, of course, is worse Mine said:

In real life we used to say I’ll see your talk and raise you action but that was just too risky Preferring no stakes

In all my dreams of flying my life has come

She believed me when I said that my life was based on a true story