Theoretically, Schrodinger’s Cat is both alive and dead at the same time In reality, cats have nine lives and one death
Right up until the last revision it said Life, liberty and the hot pursuit…
They can’t kick sand in your face if your head is al– ready in the sand
Either like swords all signs have a point Or like the needle of a compass
For about one hundred years it was no longer a secret that the easiest way to be a rational a… in an irrational world is to rationalize all
I wasn’t shocked when scientists announced that a universe already infinitely… could still be expanding because I do have an ego
The ego (that’s you) is a symptom of lack (that’s nothing)
The first half of life: Did I say that? The second half of life: I did say that The end of life:
It should come as no surprise when the Emperor with no clothes e… Off with their threads!
Having heard that God is everywhe… and failing to see Him anywhere the unbeliever deduces that God is neither here nor there when, in fact, God is in the air
Human beings evolved to avoid face-to-face conflict which was why until very recently everybody was talking behind each…
I’m not afraid of jumping in front of a bus because I don’t want to jump in front of a bus I am afraid of
I put out a comedy album Side A was called Wins Side B was called Losses Only one side was funny
In the new version of socialism You can own as much property as yo… You just can’t own your mistakes
I’ll give you the forest And I’ll take the trees You save the whales And I’ll keep the bees The sand in your eyes