Setting aside crimes of passion, when people commit crimes it’s eit… they think they can get away with… or because they want to get caught Either way, they’re guilty;

As the enormous asteroid hurtled toward Earth I found myself working harder than ever

It’s not that you’re jeal– ous, but that you guard your jeal– ousy jealously

There used to be two types of peop… Those who wanted to Go ahead and get it over with And those who wanted to postpone t… This enabled some degree of self-s…

The opposite of modest isn’t immodest, it’s honest The opposite of immodest is confident

Most lives are lived in service to one institution or another but only very recently has this begun to feel

They used to give me Birthday presents Now they give me A wide berth

Seeing as no good deed goes unpuni… Everyone else turned the job offer… And went back to waiting on their… Only the Jews understood that In the real world

Many people think of life as a gift but to me it’s more like

The difference between a black hole and a rabbit hole is that light can’t escape a black… but light can’t get in a rabbit ho…

The culture war is a secret weapon in the class war which the haves use to keep the have nots

Until the company’s weekend retrea… I didn’t know that my leadership s… was like never having braces but still wearing a retainer

Chaucer said All good things must come to an en… Which was widely If begrudgingly Accepted as a good thing

The cover-up is always worse when there’s no crime