My favorite plot twists have always been quicksand and amnesia but I have this sinking feeling I’m forgetting something

When I was standing in the shallow end I really believed I was all in only later coming to realize

The jig is finally up When Mr. Cool Goes to shul

We thought we had finally notched… by confronting Father Time with the paradox of our times when self-defeating is the new win… but we can’t win for losing

You start out needing money to advance your ideology but you end up mouthing your ideol… to rake in more money

The ill-informed Regret to inform you That knowledge is dour But groupthink is power

My wife and I have remained happi… because she recognizes me as capta… as long as I acknowledge her as air traffic control

Everyone who uses language believes in God Prayer is the act of admitting that you believe in God

A man must never admit that what he wants more than anything is to be told what to do Instead

When I put a period at the end of my text message it means that

Both my parents were tall and I ended up a shrimp Not coincidentally, my diet has al… largely consisted of pink flamingo… though scientists insist that it’s…

Once masks became quote-unquote op… the unmasked were finally unmasked and the masked remained unamalgamated

It takes billions of years for the… of stars to reach us on earth but for the light its passage is instantaneous Our current relationship with God

It’s horrifying when two parties have a suicide pact but it’s exponentially worse that the far right and far left

Knowledge is power said the company man of the hour on whom we all soon began to sour for institutional knowledge is dou…