My matchmaker couldn’t find me any… but she suggested I go to the bing… and focus on the woman who played the most cards per game
Thinking that the purpose of life… things looked good enough on the s… to believe that my life was 24-karat gold Who knew that the purpose of beaut…
I knew Remain was in trouble when they announced that a vote fo… was also a vote in favor of renami… Brexit McBrexitface
The fog is so thick now We’re buried up to our necks in it Our bodies out of sight And out of mind Making the ground beneath our feet
All ideas that stood the test of t… Are outdated ideas because They failed to meet our search cri… There’s no time like the present
LL Cool J can’t live without his radio For me, it’s my patio
Being human beings Pacifists are just as obsessed With wielding power As everybody else And just as pathological as those
All dressed down with nowhere to go
In the past they randomly distributed blanks amongst the firing squad so that you’d never know if you were really executing enemy…
The last waltz isn’t over until they come waltzing back in
In a post-pandemic bid to remain relevant the SATs have removed all true/false questions in acknowledgment that such questi…
Life is a talent show where most everyone is doing bad versions of easy impressions
You can’t know what you will decid… But you will know when you have de… You can’t know how you will act on… But you already know what is at st… Everything hangs in the balance;
If only hate were but bone deep we could bury it with the bones But hate is buried deep in the sou… with which it reincarnates like a perennial crop of invasive…
We don’t understand our childhoods so we spend our adult lives reenacting them in the hope that an outside observer